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Tuesday, 8 September 2020

How To Love An Over-thinker -by Dhyani Shah

 

When you fall in love with an overthinker, you are falling in love with someone who overanalyzes peculiar things, who is always confused, who is fighting millions of questions coming in their way, who is a mess. You can’t control their thoughts and emotions that they are feeling, for an instance if they sense the change in pattern, they will start overthinking. Overthinkers are often vulnerable souls with the capacity to feel everything immensely.


Loving an overthinker can be full of challenge you need to be fully confident in yourself and as well as to them. The complex mind of theirs can throw one off the trail fast but well isn’t every relationship like this? You just need to be yourself and assure them how much you are in love with all their habits and how much you care for them. Life is already difficult, take a leap and don’t be scared of the complex minds. Love is the only solution.



You need to be empathetic. To understand them and not to judge them on the basis of their past or about any recent memories. Their mind is always on the flight mode, being flooded with every emotion, irrational fears. You need to show them you will be there fighting all these side by side.

Show them your vulnerable side. Don’t be afraid to share your past or how some things irk your mind. Assure them they are not the only one with the fears, everyone faces the fair share of it. Make them feel they are not alone even if it means repeating soothing words for the thousand times. Being calm and saying sweet nothings will only make them feel safe, it might not be a big thing to you but for them, it means a world.



Be an unpaid therapist to them. Let them vent their thoughts and be non-judgmental and a good listener to them. Let them clear their energy and make them feel valued, that everything is right in the world. Talk your heart you, you will also need to communicate your best. Share your thoughts to them. Make a routine, indulge in some activities with them. Keep their interest piqued. Meditate with them, exercise with them. Let them know you are a part of their life during easy and difficult times.

To love them, it might require a little extra effort on your part, but it will be worth it if you are able to get everything out of your head. Thoughts are actually only those who need some extra security in a relationship, you have to show them that you can’t accept that. You should make them convinced that they are worthy of love. There are no limits to how often you will love and be loved, even if it drives you crazy to make them love themselves first. Be selfless in a relationship.

Give them space. Of course, this doesn’t mean giving the relation up but it simply means let them gather their own thoughts and to pick up the fallen pieces, have a constant presence of you in their life where they know you will be there even when you are not. One cannot control anyone; they will need to be in control of themselves. Your job would be to only love and make them feel special.

Get them out of the cycle of evil thoughts. Express yourself clearly, this helps you understand yourself so that you can get to the root of the anxiety and worry. Everyone feels the emotions every day, make them understand this. Love is not only about making plans and solving the difficulties but above all, it is emotions to flood thoughts. Instead of being too organized, control freak, Let go live in the moment let the pieces click in their organic manner.



Sometimes loving an overthinker might drive you insane, but what is love it doesn’t make you little crazy. They always make a mental note on how much you are doing for them, how you care for them and most importantly how you keep them humbled. But that is the beauty of an overthinker because they will also love you will all your flaws and not judge you of your past since they are also wired this way.

They will love you in the fiercest way they know of because they know how hard you have tried how you have given everything of yourself. How many times they have pushed you but you have only come back. They know you both have each other’s back. After all, being in love is the most beautiful thing ever and it only heals and nurtures you.

 

Dhyani Shah

 

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